Kategori: Breaks through the chains
It’s time to sparkle…
Art: my own @orkidedatterIt’s time to sparkle….
She felt the Christmas spirit was buried deep
within her flesh and bones
a moment before dark a blacbird whistling
from the navy blue sky in the snowfall
across the moonstream and shade to shade
she walk like a princes of sorrow in these cold
night
her love is an icy touch on your ruin of a
silhouette shadow
death roams all around her black Christmas
fire deep inside her darkness
a silent night before Christmas
no one can hear her screams in jarring tones
behold a glimmer in the black dreams of
crushed Christmas holiday
ghosts of Christmas past throw back
memories from when she covered her eyes and
ears
she has always scent the smell of hell
she have no heart for joy
a dark girl never smile
no luck are written in the stars of destiny
when the frozen moonbeams chases her
missing pieces through the dark
too often she was afraid of what lurks behind
the wall pretending to be light
a sound of tears a moment after the fear of
the sound of crushed glass behind the shadow
of her soul
watching the night upon the forest
the dead souls taking flight from
a cementery grave when she close her eyes
frozen tears falling down her cheeks
her kiss is like the wind so cold on your lips
she can feel herself falling
now she is crawling by the snowflakes that
glittering like emeralds around her
cadence of her last breath
a silent night before christmas
while the night still hides her withered heart….
-Orkidedatter-
Tears from the wolf’s eyes
My world burned to ashes and my days are
darker
You turned on your charm, I Just wanting to
heal
This morning has broken and
my mind collides with every failed attempt to
comfort my own heartbeats
Counting rocks on the bottom of my soul
through narrow neverending hallways
I’m knocked back inside my old track
It brings tears from the wolf’s eyes
when you thought I was a princess from the
fairy tales
I was the most wanted girl in town writing on a
new chapter in my book
I am one big wave, you can’t handle
I am the wings of the wind, you can’t catch
I am the great mystery, you can’t solve
I am a lonely wolf
a gentle harp is playing to my fragile heart and
blue river soul
it brings tears from the wolf’s eyes
A kissing flame from a lonely eagle flying
above me and we fly wild together
The sky’s symphony of spirits dancing in
northern lights and shadows from the wolves
blow my emerald kiss to the lost moon
dreaming in the darkness
and I am one of the heirs of the night when the
earth’s breath meets the sunrise in the ocean
behind the songs of the wolves in the dreams of
ancient voices from white buffalo in the world
of circles of life and legends rhythm from the
woods trumps my sweet lullaby
and I listen to the echoes from a friend
the voice of the death
there is an angel hanging from a tree in the
forest.
-Orkidedatter-
-That girl-
That girl show her burned and
massacred wounds
she yearn for souls with depths
deeper than world ocean`s
blue and dark souls who have
seen the furies in perdition
that girl rip off chains of this
mental cage however beaten
always a soul of the miserable
intertwined with the lost ones
a desire to fight
heartbeating
soul singing
spirit rising
phoenix within catches her legacy
finally find home
solicitations to be your gravyard
please, bury her skeleton with conscience
after your demons have eaten her soul out
and you raise that girl spirit
to yours dark heart
of a dead soul in a permanent pain.
-Orkidedatter-
Unwritten destiny.
Inferno in her heart
her sacred black rose
of darkness are being colder
inhaling the scent of her essence
under the moon of shaken sadness
she is dancing with her archangel
our bodies getting drunched in
Angels tears from heaven
make her scream your name
in vain across your black eyes
penetrate her soul
her pain are the echoes of dust
you can hear rattle within
with a wolf heart she has been
thrown out to the pack
fighting for life unwritten destiny
in her chapter of love
the unspoken voice in the soulless
wind changing her shadow
her spirit of the darkened path
perhaps she will return leading
the pack…
Orkidedatter
Cage of defeat
She is chained with barbed wire
in a cage and it will be the
death of her
in an endless emptiness
is an old friend
the sweet grief
she is a mess and her misery
have no end
she is not bulletproof
bending like a broken rose
with thorns stretching up the
sky full of stars
she climbs up to experience endless
heavenly view
a magical mystery ride on her
favorite star
when the world is beating her down
in the cage of defeat.
-Orkidedatter-
Wrecked soul
she feels like a ghost inside
yet sparkling eyes shining
as the rays of the midnight sun
that descend behind the mountain
she cries drops of glass that are crushed in
the ocean somewhere
where the waves roll up towards the beach
she looks at the horizon where clouds turn
into stars
an indescribable longing for an
indescribable memory for
an indescribable heartbeat
like a black rose that will never unfold
their rose petals
as a swan she bends her head in relentless
heartache
You don’t dare to touch her wrecked soul.
🦋
-Orkidedatter-
The girl in the broken mirror.
She looks in the mirror.
She is lost, cold and sad.
She has stepped footsteps in the snow, they
have disappeared.
Melted away with the sun.
Will never return.
It has taken a long time to open up old
wounds.
Scar as she must learn to live with.
She crushes the mirror, the blood flows
from her hand.
It hurts, but not as bad as her pain within.
She will be whole again and.
She is scared, alone and miserable.
She’s a mess.
She picks pieces ofherself up bit for bit
again after being crushed.
Thinking back on her past.
A child, a little girl, one childhood.
She was good at being a nice girl.
She was good at making herself invisible.
She was good at different survival
strategies.
She was good at protecting herself.
She was good at many things that children
should never be good at.
The flashbacks stand in line in her mind as
a horror movie you will never watch.
She try to take care of her mind and heart.
It hurts so much.
It never goes away.
A twisted mind that made her so
exhausted.
She lost her grip.
Her childhood lay over her like a black
blanket.
She didn’t want to live.
She didn’t want to die.
Because she knows that death gives no
return ticket to life.
She wants to disappear a little and come
back when everything was fine.
She has a mental pain that is always
associated with thoughts and feelings.
A heart full of grief because it is shattered
over the years
and evokes anxiety that is looking after
escape places
in nooks inside her body where she can’t
grasp it and
the anxiety can sprout and grow in line
with dark thoughts.
She often feels trapped.
As in a spider web spinning around her
body and squeezing,
and she can`t breathe.
She stopped living.
She did not give herself her own freedom.
She lives in the shadow of herself.
She deceives herself and says it will be
good again.
It won’t be good again until she grabs
herself.
There is no one who can walk this heavy
road for her.
Only she can.
No shortcut.
It hurts to acknowledge that she needs
help.
She has several things in life to live for,
they deserve her healthy and the best
version of her.
When she was at her darkest spot in the
abyss where she had to make
a choice, to heal herself and be
whole again she started
writing, painting and drawing.
She started blogging to reach out to others
with the same pain.
If she could just reach another person with
her voice and tell
them that you are not alone.
It warmed her heart.
She felt a spark within again.
Then she sought help, and it is not a shame
to apply for this.
After hours and hours she was talking out
about her many of hers trauma,
her soul began to flourish again.
She again found the artist soul in her.
Starting with blank sheets is not easy.
She had to close a chapter in her book
about her life
that was challenging to accomplish.
There are no more chapters in the past,
it is over now.
Only then, the joy in her heart began to
grow.
She accepts the painful reality she
experienced in
all her childhood over years.
She fades the painful, sad and hurting
memories and
fills up with good memories and new colors
in her life.
What she still practices a lot is how to not
bully herself,
because she became a expert on that and
talk herself down, because over years she
was never good enough.
The process is tough, but she doesn’t want
to see
the shadows of the past again.
She has started gluing pieces together.
Pieces of her broken heart.
Pieces of a soul in grief.
Many and big scars with a life lesson she
shouldn’t have had,
but eventually no open wounds.
There will always be cracks in what is
crushed and
glued together, she cannot hide it.
She tries to paint over with her paintbrush
so it should not
be visible on the outside.
She interprets herself as a fragile butterfly,
because they mean something special to
her.
Step by step, as a butterfly grows and
changes,
she hopes to find her true colors in life.
A new meaning.
She is fragile and vulnerable, but has
become braver and wants to fly.
She has been happy again and soon, only
soon can she be on the right path in life.
She has started to color her white wings
and started flying a little.
It is only her mind that can grab itself from
the abyss with some help and be good
again.
Never gives up.
A dandelion child.
Time does not heal all wounds, but she can
learn to live with the scars.
There is a glimpse of hope in the broken
mirror.
-Orkidedatter-
Without me
(English text after Norwegian text).
Uten meg.
Det var dager og jeg elsket livet.
Plutselig ble alt snudd opp ned.
Jeg ble redd.
Jeg tenkte det verste, og jeg
Klarer ikke å stoppe det.
Det er fra fortiden som legger sitt teppe
over meg og jeg kveles.
Jeg kan ikke puste, men jeg vet
Jeg elsker deg.
Uten meg, jeg tror du må gå
videre uten meg.
Jeg fortjener deg ikke.
Du fortjener så meget bedre enn meg.
Jeg kan ikke stoppe dette nå.
Jeg har åpnet mitt hjerte for deg, og det
gjør vondt.
Jeg elsker deg.
Du elsker meg.
Vi elsker hverandre.
Jeg trodde aldri på kjærligheten.
Kanskje mitt indre allerede prøvde å
fortelle meg noe da.
Du er perfekt selv om tiden går.
Du får meg alltid til å smile, men nå
er tårene lettere å fange
Jeg smiler tappert, men jeg må
Klare dette uten deg.
Du får meg til å føle meg god, men
du må gå videre nå.
Du fortjener så meget bedre enn meg.
Jeg fortjener deg ikke.
Jeg vil ikke stå i veien for din lykke.
Jeg klarer ikke å gjøre deg hel og god lenger.
Jeg er redd og det gjør vondt.
En smerte jeg ikke ønsker å føle på, men jeg må.
Jeg kan ikke la deg bli med videre, du
forstår det ikke selv.
Du må ta vare på deg.
Jeg vet ikke min fremtid.
Jeg vet bare min fortid nå.
Uten meg, jeg tror du må gå
videre uten meg.
Jeg fortjener deg ikke.
Du fortjener så meget bedre enn meg.
Jeg kan ikke stoppe dette nå.
Kan jeg fange deg om du faller?
Jeg kan ikke det, jeg er ødelagt.
Du må finne en ny trygg havn nå.
Jeg må dra videre herfra, men
jeg vet ikke hvor.
Det er ikke sikkert det er veien å gå
som er den lyseste og der solen skinner.
Kanskje jeg må inn i et mørke som jeg ikke
Kjenner.
Jeg er redd. Jeg har mistet grepet.
Jeg elsker deg så det gjør vondt.
Jeg kan ikke ta deg med lenger inn i mitt indre,
Du må redde deg selv.
Jeg vet ikke om jeg kommer tilbake.
Det må tiden vise.
Jeg vet jeg ikke kan forlange at du venter på meg.
Jeg ber deg gå, jeg går. Her skilles
våre veier.
Kanskje prøvde mitt indre å fortelle meg noe.
Mitt hjerte og sjel.
Jeg valgte ikke å høre, men det har vært helt
fantastisk.
Nå må jeg finne igjen magien og mitt liv.
Jeg kan ikke la deg bli med inn der.
Du fortjener bedre enn meg.
Jeg er redd. Jeg er ikke modig.
Jeg elsker deg.
-Orkidedatter-
//
Without me
It was days and I loved life.
Suddenly everything was turned upside down.
I got scared.
I thought the worst, and I
Can’t stop it.
It is from the past that puts their blanket
over me and I choke.
I can’t breathe, but I know
I love you.
Without me, I think you have to go
further without me.
I don’t deserve you.
You deserve so much better than me.
I can’t stop this now.
I have opened my heart for you and that
hurts.
I love you.
You love Me.
We love each other.
I never believed in love.
Maybe my inner soul was already trying to
Tell me something then.
You are perfect even time goes by.
You always make me smile, but now
tears are easier to catch.
I smile bravely, butI have to
Do this without you.
You make me feel good, though
You have to move on now.
You deserve so much better than me.
I don’t deserve you.
I will not stand in the way of your happiness.
I can’t make you whole and good anymore.
I’m scared and it hurts.
A pain I don’t want to feel but I have to.
I can’t let you follow me, you
Don’t understand it yourself.
You have to take care of you.
I don’t know my future.
I just know my past now.
Without me, I think you have to go
further without me.
I don’t deserve you.
You deserve so much better than me.
I can’t stop this now.
Can I catch you if you fall?
I can’t do, I am broken.
You have to find a new safe port now.
I have to move on from here, though
I don’t know where.
It may not be the way to go
which is the brightest and where the sun shines.
Maybe I have to go into a darkness
that I don’t Know,again.
I’m afraid. I lost my grip.
I love you so it hurts.
I can’t take you further into my inner soul
And heart.
You have to save yourself.
I don’t know if I’m going back.
Time will show..
I know I can’t demand that you wait for me.
I ask you to go, I go. Our roads
separate here.
Maybe my heart tried to tell me something.
I chose not to listen, but it has been completely
fantastic.
Now I have to find the magic in my life again.
I can’t let you join in there.
You deserve better than me.
I’m afraid. I’m not brave.
I love you.
-Orkidedatter-
A brush stroke
(English text after Norwegian text…)
Et penselstrøk
For hver gang hun tar penselen opp og ser på fargene som ligger foran henne, vil hennes hjerte synge en glad sang.
Når hun bestemmer seg for hvilken farge hun skal ha på sitt penselstrøk vil hennes sjel juble.
I det hun lar pensel og maling bli ett, skriker hennes følelser av smerte, og det ene penselstrøket minner henne på hva som var.
Hun kan ha lyse og glade farger, men allikevel kastes det en skygge over dem.
Hun kan velge triste og mørke farger og allikevel kastes en skygge over dem så de blir enda mørkere.
Hun kan bruke penselen fort med bestemte strøk. Eller bruke penselen forsiktig med lette bevegelser.
For hvert penselstrøk er det en følelse.
Jo mer hun maler, jo mer kommer «hun» frem i fargenes spill. Hennes innerste speiler seg i hva som males foran henne.
Hun trekker pusten skjelvende og holder opp det hun maler foran seg. I et lite øyeblikk, et glimt av spøkelsene og et lite glimt av smerte, kan hun se noe forandrer seg.
Hun henger opp det hun har malt opp på veggen. Tar noen steg tilbake og med beundring i blikket hun ser skyggene blir mindre og fargene kommer klarere frem.
Kan hun mestre å gi slipp.
Kan hun farge over det som var med nye farger.
Kan mørke bli lyst igjen.
Hvilke farger vil hun male på sine skjøre vinger som skal lære seg å fly?
Hun tørker bort noen tårer, tårer som faller fra dypet i hennes hjerte og som hun dekker sin sjel med…
-Orkidedatter-
//
A brush stroke
When she decides what color she should wear on her coat, her soul will rejoice.
As she lets brush and paint become one, her feelings of pain scream, and one brush stroke reminds her of what was.
She can have bright and happy colors, but still a shadow is thrown over them.
She can choose sad and dark colors and yet a shadow is thrown over them so they become even darker.
She can use the brush quickly with specific coats. Or use the brush gently with light movements.
The more she paints, the more «she» appears in the games of color. Her innermost is reflected in what is painted in front of her.
She shakes her breath trembling and holds up what she paints in front of her. In a moment, a glimpse of the ghosts and a little glimpse of pain, she can see something changing.
She hangs up what she has painted on the wall. Take a few steps back and with admiration in the eye she sees the shadows getting smaller and the colors became clearer.
Can she master to let go…
Can she color over what was with new colors…
Can darkness brighten again…
What colors will she paint on her fragile wings that will learn to fly?
She wipes away some tears, tears falling from the depths of her heart and covering her soul with …
-Orkidedatter-
