Behind a mask

Poet, poetry, Norwegian, Norge, Norsk, dikter, forfatter, my life, dark poetry, creative, my soul, my heart, authorArt: my own @orkidedatter

– Behind a mask-

Behind a mask, someone is hiding

my door was opened to my safe place

now it became my prison

I cried – no one saw my tears

I screamed in disgust – no one has ever

heard them

a little girl’s fragility gets crushed by the crime

caught in the curse of the mask

no escape

trapped in a body that slowly have died

she buried herself in pain

so as not to feel what she saw

a empty shell with a color of black

behind a mask an unwritten diary

beneath rolling waves

a sea of guilt

bound with chains and trapped in mystery

every minute passed and I felt the hell that

even darkness feared .


She lights a candle…

English text after the Norwegian text.

Poem poetry artistic poet artist Norwegian artist author Norwegian author kunstner dikter Norway feelings høytid holidays darksoul følelser Art: always my own @orkidedatter

Dagen er kort og natta er lang i

landet i nord med sine snødekte fjell og fjorder

med hvitt slør som ligger stille i denne


elven renner med sine snøperler dansende i

fossefallet som svever med nordavinden

bortenfor solen

hun tenner et lys

Nordlyset danser i glede der isbjørnene bor

julestjernen blinker i denne frosne vinternatt

der den siste strålen fra månens mystikk sakte

svinner hen

hun tenner et lys

et barns ansikt hvilende mot vindusruten i håp

om at under treet ligger alt hun ønsker seg

snøkrystaller faller utenfor

alle er unike og vakre

de skinner stemningsfullt i den kalde natten

hun tenner et lys

hennes julehjertet omfavner den svarte

julerosen som gråter kronbladene ned på en

seng av snøkrystaller i håp om minnenes

gjensyn er historiens forsoning der

hun lytter nøye til hennes sjel som synger i

sterke følelser

hun tenner et lys

der hun drømmer en arktisk drøm om

barnetroens mirakler

der den hvite duen flyr lydløst gjennom

lenkene som løfter håpets eventyr bak det røde

havets juvel et sted

med frosten på sine kinn tenner hun et lys for

alle de historiene som blir uttrykt uten ord…


The day is short and the night is long in this

country in the north with its snow-capped

mountains and

fjords with white veil that lie still in this dark


the river flows with its snow beads dancing in

the waterfall that hovers with the north wind

beyond the sunbeam

she lights a candle

The Northern Lights dances in joy where the

polar bears drill Christmas star blinks in this

frozen winter night where the last ray of the

moon’s mystery slowly fades away until

she lights a candle

a child’s face resting against the window pane

in the hope that underneath the tree lies

everything she wants

snow crystals fall outside are unique and


shines evocative in the cold night

she light lights a candle

where she dreams an arctic dream about the

miracle of the infant faith the white dove flies

silently through the chains that lift the

adventure of hope behind the jewel of the Red

Sea somewhere

with the frost on her cheeks,

she lights a candle

for all the stories that are expressed without

words. ..


The silence of the forest.

Me and my little family went out into the forest today.

We were just going to be with the «silence of the nature»

I open the car door and felt the clean energy of the forest fill me up immediately.

I looked down on the ground where I was just about to put my foot down. There on the ground, there were many ants, so there was one jump and bounce and Lillian was safely on a rock.

My husband understood he didn’t have to ask me for help, and he fixed everything. My son laughed and looked at me and we laughed even more.

I spend some time on an outside meditation and looking curiously at my husband. Our son and he was fishing.

My mind never rest and words and pictures begin to take shape. I have to write down the words and enter wildly on the phone.

I meet the gaze of my husband and his bright blue eyes sparkles towards me. He has already been tan and his strong arms pulsating towards me .

He reads my body language and how I smile at him. He understands what happens in my heart and mind.

I sit on the stone and write and put a strawberry into my mouth.

He comes to me, whispers something in mye ear, and I love it when he does that. I hide the rest of the strawberries.

I grab his arms and put them around me and I felt his heart rhythm.

I did not finish the poem..but I got the forest’s clean air in my lungs, the water’s energy and be with those who mean everything to me.

..and I have smiled and laughed a lot ..

We get a trout, who came home with us.

And I… I know what to do with the rest of the strawberries tonight 😉




(This post is only in English)

It was a bit cloudy in the mountains today, but it does not stop Lillian from an outdoor meditation.

I sit down on a stone, feel like I get in touch with Mother Earth and listen to the sounds. The silence is the right word, but it is only broken by the stream running next to me.

First, I take a look at the stream that trickles. Look at the water and the patterns in it. I see the stones on the bottom and it flows.

I close my eyes and my soul goes on adventure.

I stand on the highest mountain and look down on the dense deep forest and cry out loud over mountains, plains, fjords and other fauna. «I managed it» …

I see for myself the «ladder» I have climbed up and down so many times. When I have climbed a step up, I have fallen three steps down again.

The road from the abyss and just getting the «head over the water» has been a battle on my own.

I imagine the steep and slippery mountainsides where nothing has been used.

Then it has been to walk sideways a good distance with the ladder on the back which weighs extra.

Sleeping and heavy it has been, where mouse steps have become a nightmare and I just want wings like a bird so I can escape over the challenging mountains I have in front of me.

Again, I want to welcome my thoughts as if they are guests in my house with me. Taking them kindly in and when it’s time to go, I say goodbye and close the door.

-This is so powerful to me, and help me a lot.

Thank you nature and Mother Earth.



(English text after the Norwegian text).

Hun tar sine siste skritt.

Her hun kaller sitt hjem.

Hun snur seg og ser sine egne fotspor.

Hun var ikke klar over at de så slik ut.

Hun opplever at den ene foten skiller seg ut fra den andre.

Det er som hennes fotspor prøver å si henne noe.

Hennes fotspor er overalt på dette stedet.

Så mye følelser.

Hun ønsker bare å viske de bort.

Hun skal snart ut på en reise.

En reise der hun skal farge alle farger i regnbuen, i vinden og på sine vinger.

Hun ser for seg en hvit sommerfugl.

Flyr igjennom kraftig motvind.


Ligger livløs på bakken.

Hun stryker den varsomt.

Hun ser et lite sår i den skjøre kroppen.

Det vil alltid bli et arr.

Hun løfter den opp mot himmelen.

Håper den er sterk nok til å fly.

Sommerfuglens følehorn beveger seg opp og ned.

Retter litt på vingene sine.

Løfter seg opp og flyr.

Langt borte i horisonten er den bare en svart prikk.

I hånden hennes ligger sommerfuglens avtrykk igjen.

Sommerfuglens støv skinner som glitter i hennes hånd i alle mulige farger.

Så den hvite sommerfuglen var ikke helt hvit alikevel…

Den gjemte bare sin skjønnhet.

Kanskje en dag alle ser hvor vakker den fargeløse og hvite sommerfuglen er…




She takes her final steps.

Here she calls her home.

She turns around and sees her own footsteps.

She didn’t realize they looked like this.

She feels that one foot stands out from the other.

It’s like her footsteps trying to tell her something.

Her footsteps are everywhere in this place.

So much emotion.

She just wants to wipe them away.

She will soon be on a journey.

A journey where she will color all colors in the rainbow,

in the wind and in her colorless wings.

She envisions a white butterfly.

Feeling through heavy headwinds.


Lives lifeless on the ground.

She strokes it gently.

She sees a small wound in the fragile body.

It will always be a scar.

She lifts it up to the sky.

Hope it is strong enough to fly.

The butterfly’s feelings move up and down.

Turns its wings slightly.

Raises up and flies.

Long away from the horizon it is just a black shadow.

In her hand, the butterfly’s imprint is again.

Dust shines like glitter in her hand,

in all possible colors.

So the white colorless butterfly was not quite white anyway …

It just hid its beauty.

Maybe someday everyone sees how

beautiful the colorless and white butterfly is …


Norwegian nature embraces her soul🦋

(This post is only in English)

Norwgian nature, Norwegian blogger

In the mountains far in the big wide tundra she feels small. If Mother Earth decides to shake a little, she has no other choice to join in on what’s happening and let fate determine the outcome.

Norwegian nature Norwegian blogger

She sees so far the eye can reach, and the sun shines from the most beautiful blue sky. With paper and pencil she has next to her, she lays down in the snow.

She makes a snow angel … and embraces herself with the energy of nature.

Norwegian nature Norwegian blogger.

The blue sky reminds her that there is no end, nor any start up there, but a whole eternity. She closes her eyes and feels.

Feeling the force of her heartbeat and her Viking blood running in her vains.

Her blood bubbles and she can feel the presence of something she doesn’t know.

Only her imagination can put an end to her dreams ..

Norwegian nature, Norwegian blogger

Music notes appear as a movie in her head. Every note has its sound, every sound has its picture and every picture gives her a word …

Where the ancestors have settled from the old times it gives her roots from a time she has not seen, but which she can only feel.

The meditation helps her to sense the nature and it feels like home.

norwegian blogger Norwegian nature

Far down there she can hear the sound of Norway’s longest river. It crumbles, rush and flows like in a rosewood thirst for water.

At the end of the long miles it runs into the ocean and becomes one with the world.

She feels lucky to experience this. It smells like winter and spring. A summer mood at the bottom of the river where withered leaves turns into grass and moss.

Where the little sprouts of the trees and flowers are fighting for life to flourish. Everything will come to life after King Winter’s farewell.

She’s finished now, and thanks her spirit and soul, and thanks Mother Earth for this time. She knows she’s coming back in the summer. With a hope to flourish like the mountain in hope and faith.

At home in the sunset, she is grateful. She writes it down in a book she calls «Orchid Garden». Here she fills up the blank sheets with positive things and experiences.

She sits quietly until the sun has gone completely down. She can still feel the warmth of the sunset that spreads her colors around the world with a prayer to all of us for love.

In the sunrise the next morning there is a new day …

It’s quiet, only the birds that chirp a jolly song break the silence. Only the trees in her garden whiz a gently good morning and flutter with their big branches so her hair flutters.

She always has pen and paper with her, and this time she writes the notes in her mind in the form of a poem and she has her paint brush and colors ready.

What turns into life in her drawing book will she discover soon…



Livsmestring psykisk helse meditasjon orkidedatterart  norwegian blogger

Under meditasjon har jeg lært meg aksept. Å lære det som er- når det er.

Det har tatt meg tid, men for meg er det en nøkkel til å godta meg og mine tanker og følelser.

Trene på å være bevisst oppmerksom. Trene mine sanser og tankemønstre.

Jeg tror det er flere som kjører oss fast i et tankemønster og dette blir en vond spiral. Jeg har det, men nå går det bedre.

Dette er ikke bare å skru av en knapp, fordi jeg har ingen slik knapp på min kropp.

Jeg øver på å ha kontakt med meg selv, og ikke sitte å se på lenger i mitt eget liv. Med dette mener jeg at det er bare jeg som kan endre hvordan jeg vil ha det. Med hjelp av ulike metoder mestrer jeg dette.

Jeg hadde bare ønsket at jeg kunne dette for lenge siden.

Meditasjon var et ord jeg bare hadde hørt og det samme var det med mindfulness.

Når jeg begynte for noen år siden å bli nysgjerrig på dette og få føle dette på min egen kropp, forstod jeg verdien av det.

Å være oppmerksom på det som skjer inni meg selv, observere mine tanker og følelser.





During meditation I have learned acceptance. To learn what is when it is.

It has taken me time, but for me it’s a key to accepting me and my thoughts and feelings.

Exercise to be consciously aware. Exercise my senses and thought patterns.

I think there are several who drive us into a thought pattern and this becomes a bad spiral. I got it, but now it’s better.

This is not just turning off a button because I have no such button on my body.

I practice to have contact with myself and not to look any further in my own life. By this I mean that it is only me who can chang…

I had just wished I could do this long ago.

Meditation was a word I had only heard, and so was mindfulness.

When I began to be curious about this a few years ago and feel this on my own body, I understood the value of it.

To be aware of what is happening inside myself, observe my thoughts and feelings.




(English text after Norwegian text).

Mindfulness yoga psykisk helse mental health livskvalitet livsmestring norwegian blogger

Jeg har trent på Mindfulness en stund nå. Det tok meg tid å forstå og lære. Jeg har litt dårlig tolmodighet og ønsker at ting skal skje igår, om du skjønner.

Etter at jeg har blitt syk og ikke hadde det noe godt med meg selv ble jeg nødt til å gjøre noe. Jeg har alltid vært interessert i annerledes treningsformer og det åndelige i oss mennesker.

Det er ikke så annerledes nå og heldigvis mere anerkjent.

Uansett, jeg ble med på kurs både i yoga og mindfulness. Dette gikk ut på den praktiske delen og lite forklaring på hvorfor. Jeg savnet dette. Altså en dypere innsikt.

Når jeg skaffet meg denne har det gått lettere for meg.

Det jeg begynte med var grunnholdningene i Mindfulness:

  • vennlighet- ovenfor det jeg opplever, kritiske tanker, kroppsfornemmelser.
  • åpenhet- for det jeg har opplevd, tilstede med alt som dukker opp i oss selv.
  • nybegynnersinn- å oppleve det jeg sanser som om det var første gang.
  • tålmodighet- overfor meg selv og tanker, sammenligninger, følelser, sanser.
  • utholdenhet- anerkjenne hvordan det er akkurat nå uten å «flykte «.
  • mot- til å være bevisst i kontakt med det jeg opplever og konfrontasjoner av. sider ved meg selv som kanskje ikke jeg visste jeg hadde og som jeg unngår.

Jeg fant dette veldig utfordrende og tenkte «mørkt» med engang, men jeg gir ikke opp og ga det en sjangse. Jeg er dypt takknemlig for det.

Jeg har fått det mye bedre med meg selv psykisk, lytte og vende oppmerksomheten innover i meg selv, og blitt mye bedre på å stoppe opp i hverdagen, puste og sanse og skyve de mørke tankene vekk.

Hvordan: jeg ønsker tankene mine velkommen som om de skal være gjester i mitt hus hos meg. Tar de vennlig imot og når det er på tide å gå, sier jeg hyggelig farvel og lukker døra.

Det krever at du er god på å visualisere.




I’ve been training at Mindfulness for a while now. It took me time to understand and learn. I have a little bit of patience and want things to happen yesterday, if you understand.

After getting sick and not having any good with myself, I had to do something. I have always been interested in other and different types of training and the spiritual in us humans.

It’s not that different now and fortunately more recognized.

Anyway, I attended courses in both yoga and mindfulness. This went into the practical part and little explanation of why. I missed this. So a deeper insight.

When I got this, it’s been easier for me.

What I started with was the basics of Mindfulness:

  • Kindness – above what I am experiencing, critical thoughts, body sensations.
  • Openness – for what I have experienced, present with everything appearing in ourselves.
  • beginner’s experience of what I sense as if it were the first time.
  • patience – to myself and thoughts, comparisons, feelings, senses.
  • perseverance – recognize how it is right now without «fleeing.»
  • opposed to being conscious in contact with what I experience and confronting. pages of myself that maybe I didn’t know I had and which I avoid.

I found this very challenging and thought «dark» at once, but I don’t give up and gave it a chance. I am deeply grateful for that.

I have been getting much better with myself mentally, listening and turning my attention in myself, and becoming much better at stopping everyday, breathing and sensing and pushing away the dark thoughts.

How: I want to welcome my thoughts as if they are guests in my house with me. Taking them kindly and when it’s time to go, I say goodbye and close the door.

It requires you to be good at visualizing.


I am me

(English text after the Norwegian text)

Keg er meg i am me norwegian blogger norway fandelion child cop with life mental health

Jeg er meg

Før du dømmer meg må du lytte.

Men du snakker til meg som jeg var et barn.

Vet du at det provoserer meg.

Men du vil ikke vite hvorfor.

Fordi du kan ikke forestille deg hva du kommer til å måtte lytte til.

Jeg er voksen. Jeg har levd lenge.

Jeg har kjempet meg igjennom livets harde skole.

Jeg har kjempet meg til hit jeg er idag.

Jeg kjempet meg igjennom erfaringer du ikke vet noe om.

Hei du, ikke snakk til meg som jeg ikke har vært ute i livet eller levd en stund.

Vettu, at ALLE har sitt liv. Alle har levd sitt liv, og alle har en historie.

Til og med du, som ikke virker å ha den minste respekt for andre. Eller være litt ydmyk.

Ikke snakk til meg som jeg var et barn som ikke kan noe.

Men, du skal ikke undervurdere barn…

Jeg føler mitt hjerte og min sjel vrir seg i smerte, men jeg kan takle det.

Det er andre mennesker jeg tenker på som kanskje ikke gjør det, som jeg vet du snakker med.

Kanskje er du redd?

Kanskje er du for stolt?

Kanskje er du usikker?

Kanskje det er en grunn?

Allikevel trigger dette meg, men jeg viser det ikke, men jeg kjenner grunnen.

Jeg smiler tappert og tar med mitt hjerte og min sjel hjem som trenger omsorg.

Jeg kan gå ut i skogen fordi jeg får lyst til å rope.

Jeg velger heller å meditere.

Jeg blir lei meg.

Hvor har det blitt av høfligheten og den gode gamle folkeskikken?

For meg, uansett, hvem jeg møter, møter jeg er menneske.

Et menneske jeg ikke kjenner, et menneske jeg ikke vet noe om og et menneske jeg ikke har noen grunn til å dømme, fordi det er et medmenneske.

Men, dessverre, jeg vil alltid være hun jenta som er rar og annerledes.

Jeg vil alltid være hun datteren til de foreldrene som også er litt annerledes.

Jeg vil alltid være hun som kommer fra er hjem med fyll og bråk og vold i hjemmet og……

Jeg vil alltid være «noe» fra min fortid.

Det går aldri over.

Jeg må alltid leve med hvem jeg er og hvor jeg kommer i fra.

Men, jeg er meg, og vil alltid være hun som ikke er som alle andre.

Idag, tørr jeg å si at det er jeg stolt av, men jeg vet at det fortsatt er en lang vei å gå.



I am me...

Before you judge me, you must listen.

But you talk to me as I was a child.

You know it provokes me.

But you don’t want to know why.

Because you can’t imagine what you’re going to have to listen to.

I’m an adult.

I’ve lived long.

I have fought my way through life’s «hard school».

I have fought myself to be here today.

I struggled through experiences you don’t know anything about.

Hey you, don’t talk to me as I haven’t been in life or lived for a while.

You know, that ALL has their lives.

Everyone has lived their lives and everyone has a story.

Even you, who do not seem to have the least respect for others.

Or be a little humble.

Don’t talk to me as I was a child who can’t do anything.

But, you should not underestimate children.

I feel my heart and my soul twist in pain, but I can cope with it.

There are other people I think of that may not, as I know you are talking to.

Maybe you’re scared?

Maybe you’re too proud?

Maybe you’re unsure?

Maybe there’s a reason?

Anyway, this triggers me, but I don’t show it, but I know the reason.

I smile bravely and bring my heart and soul home and it needs care.

I can go out into the woods because I want to shout.

I rather choose to meditate.

I am getting sad.

Where has it become of courtesy and good old common decency?

For me, no matter who I meet, I meet a human being.

A human being I do not know, a human being I do not know anything about and a human being I have no reason to judge, because it is a fellow human.

But, unfortunately, I always want to be the girl who is weird and different.

I always want to be the daughter of those parents who are also slightly different.

I will always be the one who comes from a home with fill and trouble and domestic violence and ……

I will always be «something» from my past.

It never goes away.

I must always live with who I am and where I come from.

But, I am, and will always be she who is not like everyone else.

Today, I dare say that I’m proud of it, but I know it’s still a long way to go.