I will always remember you like this.

(English text after Norwegian text)

Du og jeg i solnedgang som brenner i mine øyne og hud. Vi ser på hverandre og jeg føler meg som et bål. Jeg er i full fyr og jeg gløder. Jeg ser i dine øyne at du er betatt, at du elsker meg og er begravet i min sjel. Akkurat  -her og nå-. Du klarer alltid å finne det gode i meg. Det er så mye jeg skulle ha sagt.

Jeg vil alltid huske deg I will always remember you du og jeg you and me lovers kjærester Norwegian blogger lovers in Norway Orkidedatter

Solen er på vei ned, jeg er på vei opp. Du og jeg sammen skal bestige fjell i natt. Du får meg alltid til å smile og føle meg elsket og bra. Jeg trodde aldri jeg skulle føle igjen. Det er vanskelig å finne de rette ordene til deg fordi du fortjener bare det beste. Jeg har gitt deg mitt hjerte, du fanget min sjel og sammen er vi fyrverkeri. Jeg vil alltid huske deg slik.

Når du tar på meg kjenner jeg det brenner  i mitt innerste meg og hjertet mitt står i brann. Allikevel gjør det vondt. Er jeg god nok for deg? Solen går ned og mørket kommer snikende frem. Jeg hutrer, men jeg er glad i mørket. Jeg føler meg best da. Du tenner en gnist i meg som får mørket til å bli noe av det vakreste jeg vet om. Det er så mye jeg skulle ha sagt.

Du og jeg i natt smelter sammen som to vanndråper som passer sammen i hverandre, samtidig så forskjellige med ulike farger vi farger hverandre og verden vi lever i. Håper jeg alltid husker oss slik.

Du vet alltid hva som er best for meg, og jeg følger deg hvor som helst. Allikevel gjør det vondt. Er jeg god nok for deg? Du fortjener bare det beste, og er det meg? Du trenger noe mer til jeg finner meg selv igjen. Det er vanskelig, og i mine dårlige tider frykter jeg meg selv.

Når jeg har det bra-farger jeg mine skjøre vinger og sprer de utover og «flyr». Jeg er i min dypeste sjel og inn i mitt innerste meg og fyller meg opp i mitt hjertet med kjærlighet. Jeg dykker langt ned for å finne «diamanten» i meg. Det er så mye jeg skulle sagt.

Jeg mister kontrollen, jeg vet jeg er et rot, jeg kjemper og jeg vet ikke om jeg vinner? Jeg trenger tid, men det er ikke vanskelig å elske deg. Jeg er trygg hos deg, og du finner alltid kjærligheten i meg. Det er så mye jeg skulle sagt, men jeg finner ikke de riktige ordene.

Solen går ned. Du legger dine armer rundt meg og legger meg forsiktig ned. Kysser meg fjærlett på munnen og nedover halsen. Mitt hjerte dunker og brer sin flamme rundt i hele meg. Jeg står i brann, må ha deg, du fanger meg og brer din trygghet og kjærlighet rundt meg. Jeg hikster og du klemmer meg varsomt. med ømhet du kjærtegner hele meg. Jeg håper det ikke er en drøm. Jeg vil alltid huske deg slik. Det er så mye jeg skulle sagt, men jeg finner ikke de riktige ordene.

Jeg er redd for å miste deg fordi jeg elsker deg. Allikevel gjør det vondt. Jeg har åpnet mitt hjerte og sluppet deg inn. La oss stoppe verden, la oss elske til evig tid. Du får meg til å føle meg levende, alt er ekte -du er alt jeg trenger-

Mine skjøre vinger lærer å fly igjen og jeg har så mye jeg skulle sagt, men jeg finner ikke de riktige ordene. Jeg vil alltid huske deg slik. I solnedgangen, i natt og jeg vil ikke miste deg. Jeg velger å åpne opp mine vinger  å gi meg fult og hen til deg.  La oss «fly» sammen. Vi brer rundt oss med kjærlighet, smelter sammen og vi er ett.

Jeg vil alltid huske deg slik.

 

-Orkidèdatter-

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I will always remember you like this.

You and I at sunset who burn in my eyes and skin. We look at each other and I feel like a bonfire. I’m in the full guy and I glow. I see in your eyes that you are captivated, that you love me and are buried in my soul. Just here and now. You can always find the good in me. There is so much I should have said.

The sun is coming down, I’m on my way up. You and I will climb mountains tonight. You always make me smile and feel loved and good. I never thought I should feel again. It’s hard to find the right words for you because you just deserve the best. I have given you my heart, you captured my soul and together we are fireworks. I will always remember you that way.

When you touch me, I feel it burns in my heart and my heart is on fire. Anyway, it hurts. Am I good enough for you? The sun goes down and the darkness creeps forward. I hut, but I love the dark. I feel best then. You light a spark in me that makes the darkness become something of the most beautiful I know of. There is so much I should have said.

You and I tonight melt together as two water drops that fit together in each other, at the same time so different with different colors we color each other with and the world we live in. Hope I always remember us that way.

You always know what’s best for me, and I follow you anywhere. Anyway, it hurts. Am I good enough for you? You just deserve the best, and is it me? You need something more until I find myself again. It’s difficult, and in my bad times I fear myself.

When I feel good, I color my fragile wings and spread them out and fly. I am in my deepest soul and into my innermost mind and fill myself up in my heart with love. I dive far down to find the «diamond» in me. There is so much I should say.

I lose control, I know I’m a mess, I’m fighting and I don’t know if I win? I need time, but it’s not hard to love. I’m safe with you, and you always find the love in me. There is so much I should say, but I can’t find the right words.

The sun goes down. You put your arms around me and put me down gently. Kisses me featherly on the mouth and down the neck. My heart is pounding and spreading its flame around me. I am on fire, must have you, you catch me and bring your security and love around me. I hiccup and you hug me gently. with tenderness you caress all over me. I hope it’s not a dream. I will always remember you that way. There is so much I should say, but I can’t find the right words.

I’m afraid of losing you because I love you. Anyway, it hurts. I have opened my heart and let you in. Let’s stop the world, let’s love forever. You make me feel alive, everything is real – you’re all I need –

My fragile wings learn to fly again and I have so much to say, but I can’t find the right words. I will always remember you that way. In the sunset, tonight and I will not lose you. I choose to open up my wings to give myself fullness and to you. Let’s fly together. We are around us with love, melting together and we are one.

I will always remember you that way.

-Orkidèdatter-

 

 

My broken heart…

I`m so incredibly appreciated by all my followers and readers out there in every corner of the world. I am so grateful and can’t thank you enough. I posted this post a few days ago and I got lovely respons, and I want to share this in English. This is written from the depths of my soul and from my heart.

 Dandelion children, broken heart, coping with life, quality of life, et knust hjerte, barndom, childhood, freedom, mental health, psykisk helse, shame, fault,

Having experienced and experienced a trip to the «Abyss» that I call it – and still working my way up to be as healthy as I can, many thoughts and feelings have been through my heart and my head. Someone I can pass on, others I have to learn to live with.

 

I have often thought of this with mental health and fear in the soul and emotional breakdown. In relation to this with physical pain, such as: a bone fracture. If I could choose, the choice would not have been so difficult, I would have chosen a bone fracture. Physical pain goes over and the body heals itself, you get well again ….

Why can’t it be that way with the psychic pain? … I can have patience with a physical wound and wait, it’s over. My mental pain has no waiting time. I’ve been waiting long enough, trying to trick my mind, but no. The wounds in the heart are still there and linked with me – emotional thoughts and emotions. A heart full of sorrow because of my time here on earth and what it has given me. Grief over my «luggage» from childhood, adolescence and adulthood. Where my emotional pain in my broken heart evokes anxiety that looks for places of refuge in nooks and crannies inside my body where it can germinate and grow with pace with both depressed and destructive thoughts that bring with it an emotional burst that gets tougher.

 

I often feel «trapped». «Caught» because I stopped living and do not give myself my own freedom. I have become «blind» and stuck to a «dead end». I live in the «shadow of myself». I deceive myself because my heart is hurting – it’s broken over the years – I just didn’t understand it until now.

 

Starting with «blank sheets» is not easy, but no one has told me that life is easy, just because someone is more fortunate than others. I must accept the cold reality. There are no more acts or chapters in this life. I go back to the beginning as far as I can. Try to erase or erase parts of my life. It is not possible, but I try to make the bad memories smaller and weaker and that they do not control me. The process is bad, but I do not want the «shadows» from the past …

My «shadows» from the past tell me

 

-you don’t deserve love-

 

-you will never be happy again-

 

-You ruin everything you take in-

 

-you don’t deserve others to love you-

 

– this broken heart will forever be there and your pain will be unbearable –

 

– when you find happiness «the» must be empty

 

and so it goes on …..

 

My broken heart, I have begun to push together again. It gets many scars, big scars, but ultimately not open wounds, but it gets me back, but life doesn’t get the same. What is broken is never the same again. It will always have cracks. I can «paint» over so it’s not visible on the outside.

As a butterfly I grow and change and hope I find my true colors in life, a new meaning of quality of life that finds my fragile «wings» and I can «fly» and soon, just soon, be on the right path …

I’ve started to «fly» a little …

 

 

-orkidedatter-

 

 

Thank you very much to my family, especially my husband and my son❤️