Meditation – mindfulness

(English text after the Norwegian)

En tidlig morgen jeg begynte å tegne og male idag. Solen stod opp og Norge viser seg fra sin beste side når det gjelder vinterværet her jeg bor. Jeg føler for å ta noe yoga og meditasjon ute, og pakker sammen og drar.

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Jeg mediterer av og til og bruker ulike meditasjonsverktøy som er virkningsfulle for meg. Jeg har prøvd mange ulike meditasjoner og jeg har funnet mine favoritter. Jeg prøver forsatt nye om jeg lærer dette. Jeg må prøve dem noen ganger for å få opplevelsen, for å få igjenn for meditasjonen og ikke minst gi avkall på energi som ikke tjener meg og få ny energi.

Meditasjon healing meditation livsmestring psykisk helse jeg ser deg akademiet livet er magisk mindfullnes Norway Norwegian blogger livet er magisk jeg ser deg akademiet healing meditasjon ute tilstedeværelse stående meditasjon

Det tok meg litt tid å forstå og lære meditasjon og mindfulness. Å møte sin egen kropp på et dypere nivå var vanskelig for meg. Mange ganger utløste det flashback og det ble veldig tøft.

Etter traumebehandling har jeg blitt bedre, men…

Jeg følte at sjelen min prøvde å fortelle meg noe, men jeg var god på å IKKE lytte. Til en dag jeg leste noe som stod i ei bok. Jeg måtte bare følge hjertet mitt.

Jeg dro på kurs i healing og meditasjon. En verden av det alternative åpnet seg for meg. Jeg finner ikke andre ord enn at min sjel har kommet hjem.

Jeg fikk veiledning og hjelp her som jeg aldri kan få sagt med ord hvor takknemlig jeg er, men jeg tror de vet.

Jeg øver og øver. Jeg famler litt og bruker litt tid. Jeg blir kjent med kroppen min og mitt sinn på en helt annen måte enn hva jeg trodde.

Å være tilstede i akkurat her og nå. Å oppleve øyeblikket av kroppslige fornemmelser, følelser, drifter, impulser og tanker og mer bare ved å vende oppmerksomheten mot dette.

Jeg skal klare det. Jeg skal bli en bedre utgave av meg selv og med hjelp av å finne nøkkelen til aksept må jeg følge denne stien.

Jeg bare vet at dette er veien å gå.

-Orkidedatter-

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An early morning I started drawing and painting today. The sun rise and Norway showed up from its best side when it comes to winter weather here I live. I feel like taking some yoga and meditation outside.

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Meditation – mindfulness.

I sometimes meditate and use different meditation tools that are effective for me. I’ve tried many different meditations and I’ve found my favorites. I still try new when and if I learn this. I have to try them sometimes to get the experience, to get to know the meditation and to give up energy that doesn’t serve me anymore and get new energy.

It took me some time to understand and learn meditation and mindfulness. Meeting my own body at a deeper level was difficult for me. Many times it triggered flashback and it got really tough.

After trauma treatment I have improved, but …

I felt that my soul was trying to tell me something, but I was good at NOT listening. One day I read something, and I knew – I just had to follow my heart.

I went on a course in healing and meditation. A world of that alternative opened to me. I find no other word but my soul has come home.

I got guidance and help which I can never say with words how grateful I am, but I think they know.

I practice and practice. I grope a little and spend some time. I get to know my body and my mind in a completely different way than I thought.

Being present in -right here and now-. To experience the moment of bodily sensations, feelings, impulses, and thoughts and more just by turning your attention to your heart, soul and deep inside you…

I will make it. I’m going to be a better version of myself and with the help of finding the key to acceptance I have to follow this path.

-I just know this is the way to go. –

-Orkidedatter-

Thank you for reading, and make you a great day…🦋

«The Elfdance»🦋

(The «Elfdance»🦋 in English text after Norwegian)

Alltid når jeg var mindre ble jeg og søster`n min kalt for «søstrene sisters fra de stor dype skoger». Jeg husker at jeg som var den med lyst hår ble kalt for «Huldra» også samtidig, og kom til å knuse mang en mannehjerter.

Mye mystikk rundt «huldra» og jeg lekte ofte med tanken om henne. Hvorfor kunne ikke jeg være mystisk da? Åååhh, som jeg drømte meg bort. Mann? Neida, jeg kom da aldri til å få meg no mann… jeg som var så stygg, udugelig og dum. Så jeg fortsatte å drømme…

Dance elfdance alvedansen tusser troll Norwegian trols løvetannbarn Norwegian blogger blogger

Jeg var veldig glad i skogen og naturen når jeg var yngre også. Jeg tok meg ofte en tur i skogen alene, sanset med hele kroppen og brukte fantasien. Jeg opplevde at dyrene var like nysgjerrig på meg som jeg på dem.

Ofte var det hare, rev, ekorn eller rådyr som jeg observerte. En og annen elg var det til og med, men elgen hadde jeg veldig stor respekt for, så jeg tok stort sett beina fatt og kom meg hjem.

Jeg har respekt for de andre dyrene også, det var bare at jeg tenkte i mitt unge sinn at de kunne ikke sparke meg i hjel. Derfor ble jeg igjenn bak et tre eller en stubbe som var måsagrodd og fanget øyeblikkene med dyra.

Jeg med min rosa og hvit rutette sommerkjole med et par blonder nederst og barføtt, løp innover skogen til mitt «drømmested». På veien, selvom jeg småløp, tok jeg alltid tid til å titte på blomstene, lukte og smake. Jeg hadde lært om hva som kunne spises og ikke. Det smakte stort sett «grønt».

Mitt drømmested der jeg ble i ett med naturen og bare meg og ingen andre. Eller, hva visste jeg om det? Jeg lekte at småfolk, alver og tusser kunne se meg. Jeg følte meg fri. Frihet som en smak av fuglene, jeg kunne ligge i mosen og gresset å studere. Der de fløy høyt på himmelen…. høyt… høyt… Om bare jeg kunne også. Jeg lukket øynene og «svevde» blant fugler små og store.

She dances to the songs in her head, speaks with the rhythm of her heart, and loves from the depths of her soulShe dansec to the rhythm in her heart…

Under frihetens drømmer drømte jeg at jeg kunne danse. Jeg reiste meg opp fra den grønne eng å danset som jeg aldri hadde danset før. Jeg så for meg at både alvene, småfolkene og tussene kunne se meg. Til slutt kastet de seg inn i dansen, min «Alvedans», og vi ble med ett mange. Mange som danset seg rundt trærne, stubbene, gress stråene og greinene som hang ned fra både furu, gran og bjørk. Danset i mosen slik at sporene våres satte avtrykk som kunne bli sett «her og nå». Sporene som forsiktig ble visket ut av vinden som rusket meg i det lange lyse håret som flagret vilt omkring rundt på hodet mitt. Kjolen jeg var så glad i sakte men sikkert falt på plass i det jeg stilnet og sank ned mot skogens myke «seng». Jeg lo for meg selv der jeg lå, sanset og undret.

Så utrolig herlig å føle på friheten, der ingen dømte, der ingen kunne se, der ingen visste, der ingen ville le, der ingen kunne forstyrre, der ingen hånte eller mobbet, der ingen gjorde meg «noe».

-der ingen dømte- ingen mobbet- frihet

«She dances to the songs in her head,

speaks with the rhythm of her heart,

and loves from the depths of her soul»

Dean Jackson

-orkidedatter-

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The Elfdance.

Whenever I was less I and my sister and I were called «sisters from the great deep forests». I remember being the one with bright hair called «Hollow» at the same time, and came to crush a lot of men`s hearts.

Much mystery around «Hollowing» and I often played With her thought. Why couldn`t I be mysterious then? Ohhhh, as I dreamed away. A man? Oh no, I never came to get me no man…I was so ugly, inept and stupid. So I continued to dream…

I was very fond of the forest and nature whwn I was younger as well. I often took a walk in the Woods alone, sensed With the Whole body and used the imagination. I experienced that the animals were just as curiose about me as I was on them.

Often I saw hare, fox, squirrel or deer. Sometimes moose was there, but the moose I had great respect for, so I mostly took my legs and got home.

I have respect for the other animals too, it was just that I thought in my Young mind that they could not kick me to Death. Therefore, I was walking behind a tree or a stump that was seagull and caugth the moments With expensive.

I With my pink and white regular summer dress With a pair of lace at the bottom and barefoot, ran into the forest to my «dream Place». On the way, even though I was a little run, I always took time to lokk at the flowers, smell and taste. I had learned about what could be eaten and not. It tasted mostly «green».

My dream place where I become one With nature and just me and no one else. Or, what did I know about it? I was playing that small People, elves and thugs could see me. I felt free. Freedom as a taste of the birds, I could lie in the bog and grass to study. Where they flew high in the sky…loud…loud…If only I could. I Close my eyes and «hovered» among birds, small and large.

During the dreams of freedom I dreamed that I could Dance. I got up from the green Meadow to Dance that I had never danced before. I saw for myself that both the elves, the little People and the tits could see me. In the end they threw themselves into the Dance, my «Elfdance», and we joined one many.

Many who danced around the trees, the stumps, the grass Straws and the brances that hung down from both pine, spruce and Birch. Danced in the marsh so that Our tracks made imprints that could be seen «here and now».

The tracks that were gently wiped out of the Wind that shook me in the long Bright hair that fluttered wildly around my head. The dress I was so found of slowly but surely fell into place that I stopped and sank Down to the soft «bed» of the forest. I laughed at myself where I lay, sensed and wondered.

So incredibly wonderful to feel the freedom, where no one judged, where no one could see, where no one knew,  where no one would laugh, where no one could disturb, where no one mocked or bullied, where no one made me «something».

-There is no conviction of bullying-.

«She Dances to the songs in her head,

speaks With the rhythm of her heart,

and loves form the depths of her soul»

( quotation:-Dean Jackson-)

-Orkidèdatter-

My broken heart…

I`m so incredibly appreciated by all my followers and readers out there in every corner of the world. I am so grateful and can’t thank you enough. I posted this post a few days ago and I got lovely respons, and I want to share this in English. This is written from the depths of my soul and from my heart.

 Dandelion children, broken heart, coping with life, quality of life, et knust hjerte, barndom, childhood, freedom, mental health, psykisk helse, shame, fault,

Having experienced and experienced a trip to the «Abyss» that I call it – and still working my way up to be as healthy as I can, many thoughts and feelings have been through my heart and my head. Someone I can pass on, others I have to learn to live with.

 

I have often thought of this with mental health and fear in the soul and emotional breakdown. In relation to this with physical pain, such as: a bone fracture. If I could choose, the choice would not have been so difficult, I would have chosen a bone fracture. Physical pain goes over and the body heals itself, you get well again ….

Why can’t it be that way with the psychic pain? … I can have patience with a physical wound and wait, it’s over. My mental pain has no waiting time. I’ve been waiting long enough, trying to trick my mind, but no. The wounds in the heart are still there and linked with me – emotional thoughts and emotions. A heart full of sorrow because of my time here on earth and what it has given me. Grief over my «luggage» from childhood, adolescence and adulthood. Where my emotional pain in my broken heart evokes anxiety that looks for places of refuge in nooks and crannies inside my body where it can germinate and grow with pace with both depressed and destructive thoughts that bring with it an emotional burst that gets tougher.

 

I often feel «trapped». «Caught» because I stopped living and do not give myself my own freedom. I have become «blind» and stuck to a «dead end». I live in the «shadow of myself». I deceive myself because my heart is hurting – it’s broken over the years – I just didn’t understand it until now.

 

Starting with «blank sheets» is not easy, but no one has told me that life is easy, just because someone is more fortunate than others. I must accept the cold reality. There are no more acts or chapters in this life. I go back to the beginning as far as I can. Try to erase or erase parts of my life. It is not possible, but I try to make the bad memories smaller and weaker and that they do not control me. The process is bad, but I do not want the «shadows» from the past …

My «shadows» from the past tell me

 

-you don’t deserve love-

 

-you will never be happy again-

 

-You ruin everything you take in-

 

-you don’t deserve others to love you-

 

– this broken heart will forever be there and your pain will be unbearable –

 

– when you find happiness «the» must be empty

 

and so it goes on …..

 

My broken heart, I have begun to push together again. It gets many scars, big scars, but ultimately not open wounds, but it gets me back, but life doesn’t get the same. What is broken is never the same again. It will always have cracks. I can «paint» over so it’s not visible on the outside.

As a butterfly I grow and change and hope I find my true colors in life, a new meaning of quality of life that finds my fragile «wings» and I can «fly» and soon, just soon, be on the right path …

I’ve started to «fly» a little …

 

 

-orkidedatter-

 

 

Thank you very much to my family, especially my husband and my son❤️