The girl in the broken mirror.

She looks in the mirror.

She is lost, cold and sad.

She has stepped footsteps in the snow, they

have disappeared.

Melted away with the sun.

Will never return.

It has taken a long time to open up old

wounds.

Scar as she must learn to live with.

She crushes the mirror, the blood flows

from her hand.

It hurts, but not as bad as her pain within.

She will be whole again and.

She is scared, alone and miserable.

She’s a mess.

She picks pieces ofherself up bit for bit

again after being crushed.

Thinking back on her past.

A child, a little girl, one childhood.

She was good at being a nice girl.

She was good at making herself invisible.

She was good at different survival

strategies.

She was good at protecting herself.

She was good at many things that children

should never be good at.

The flashbacks stand in line in her mind as

a horror movie you will never watch.

She try to take care of her mind and heart.

It hurts so much.

It never goes away.

A  twisted mind that made her so

exhausted.

She lost her grip.

Her childhood lay over her like a black

blanket.

She didn’t want to live.

She didn’t want to die.

Because she knows that death gives no

return ticket to life.

She wants to disappear a little and come

back when everything was fine.

She has a mental pain that is always

associated with thoughts and feelings.

A heart full of grief because it is shattered

over the years

and evokes anxiety that is looking after

escape places

in nooks inside her body where she can’t

grasp it and

the anxiety can sprout and grow in line

with dark thoughts.

She often feels trapped.

As in a spider web spinning around her

body and squeezing,

and she can`t  breathe.

She stopped living.

She did not give herself her own freedom.

She lives in the shadow of herself.

She deceives herself and says it will be

good again.

It won’t be good again until she grabs

herself.

There is no one who can walk this heavy

road for her.

Only she can.

No shortcut.

It hurts to acknowledge that she needs

help.

She has several things in life to live for,

they deserve her healthy and the best

version of her.

When she was at her darkest spot in the

abyss where she had to make

a choice,  to heal herself and be

whole again she started

writing, painting and drawing.

She started blogging to reach out to others

with the same pain.

If she could just reach another person with

her voice and tell

them that you are not alone.

It warmed her heart.

She felt a spark within again.

Then she sought help, and it is not a shame

to apply for this.

After hours and hours she was talking out

about her many of hers trauma,

her soul began to flourish again.

She again found  the artist soul in her.

Starting with blank sheets is not easy.

She had to close a chapter in her book

about her life

that was challenging to accomplish.

There are no more chapters in the past,

it is over now.

Only then, the joy in her heart began to

grow.

She accepts the painful reality she

experienced in

all her childhood over years.

She fades the painful, sad and hurting

memories and

fills up with good memories and new colors

in her life.

What she still practices a lot is how to not

bully herself,

because she became a expert on that and

talk herself down, because over years she

was never good enough.

The process is tough,  but she doesn’t want

to see

the shadows of the past again.

She has started gluing pieces together.

Pieces of her broken heart.

Pieces of a soul in grief.

Many and big scars with a life lesson she

shouldn’t have had,

but eventually no open wounds.

There will always be cracks in what is

crushed and

glued together, she cannot hide it.

She tries to paint over with her paintbrush

so it should not

be visible on the outside.

She interprets herself as a fragile butterfly,

because they mean something special to

her.

Step by step, as a butterfly grows and

changes,

she hopes to find her true colors in life.

A new meaning.

She is fragile and vulnerable, but has

become braver and wants to fly.

She has been happy again and soon, only

soon can she be on the right path in life.

She has started to color her white wings

and started flying a little.

It is only her mind that can grab itself from

the abyss with some help and be good

again.

Never gives up.

A dandelion child.

Time does not heal all wounds, but she can

learn to live with the scars.

There is a glimpse of hope in the broken

mirror.

-Orkidedatter-

54 kommentarer om “The girl in the broken mirror.”

  4. SMiLes Short one to
    me as stories about
    Coming out of
    Darkness are most
    Important to Give and
    Share for if we live long
    Enough most of us will
    Face a challenge like
    This.. All Art is healing
    My Friend if only in
    This World Love
    Is the Real God the
    Currency.. the Pay
    Grade.. the Only Pay
    Rate now that counts
    For Power and Status
    The Love We Give And
    Share with each other
    Best Expressed
    By Arts
    Of our Souls no
    Longer Owning each
    Other but setting
    Each
    Other
    Free With
    Love the touch
    oF LiGHT With
    No Gravity
    But
    Up my
    FriEnd..:)

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  7. Aaw Lillian, I hope time will heal them, even though you said it wont. But you know what, I can’t tell you exactly what to do to be happier, but every time you need someone to vent out we are always here your blogging community. 🙂 Love the artwork too!

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    1. You really touch my heart and soul❤️thank you so much. I feel honored and humbled because you write such a wonderful words.
      It means more to me than you can imagine🦋I have tears in my eyes now…. because, they are the answer to your feedback, because I am speechlees.
      Thank you❤️
      I am thankfully for that my art speaks to you, thank you.
      🦋

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  10. When writing what we feel, it’s never long enough 🙂 It’s really a great way and words to express a painful journey, a long struggle and a brave decision to embrace life along with it scars! I’m sure all these scars are the reason for the beautiful painting that resulted and it’s a very unique painting
    Choosing life is always right, but not all the people are brave enough to! Death and surrenders are always easier!
    Salute to the bravery, the strength, the love and the will of life ❤
    Have a great day!

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    1. This was heartfelting, thank you so much🦋your lovely words make me wanna cry, but it is a good cry if I can put it that way in English. I am very grateful for your words, it is mean more to me than you can imagine❤️ I am so grateful for thay my art speaks to you🦋
      Thank you so much❤️

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      1. Tears of joy are allowed ❤️😊
        Well they were words from the heart after reading your words and of course your art can speak to me, I know these feelings very well
        Have a great time ❤️ 🦋

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  11. A wonderful poem Lillian! Even though it speaks of tears and pain, there is also the healing and hope of something better. The butterfly heals, gains it’s colors and flies better than it ever could before. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings here Lillian and your art is truly beautiful as well. have a wonderful evening!😃🦋😺

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    1. Awe, Steve… I read your feedback and I can feel a tear sneaking out from my eyes, thank you so much for your support🦋I have no words to thank you, but I am really grateful.
      It’s mean more to me than you can imagine.
      I am so happy you think my art is beautiful too.
      I hope you have a great day with Muffin😺
      Thank you🦋

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      1. Thank you Lillian, Muffin played, had her lunch and is sleeping once again.😸 I have to start removing the seal from the windows today, and that is a lot of work. These are old windows in this apartment so they need to be sealed each fall to stop drafts, now that must come off. Nice day to do that though! So off I go.😄

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    1. You don’t need to say anything my friend🦋I can feel your heartbeat and I am so grateful to have YOU as a follower too, but the best of all, I can follow you and read yours always wise words.
      Thank you.
      I really appreciate that my words and my art speak to you🦋
      I hope you have a nice day.

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  15. Wow. This is so good!!!! What a powerful piece. Also that ending pulls it together!! I’d love to hear it in Norwegian because I bet it sounds amazing that way, too!

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    1. I am sorry I am answer this comment to late. I found it in my spambox and I don`t understand why…
      Thank you so much. You are always give me such great feedback so my heart jumps harder….
      Yes, I know it sounds amazing in Norwegian too…
      Enjoy your day.

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  16. Good morning and mine starts by reading your beautiful poem, you are so talented and the way you describe every thing feels so real and a life, hugs❤️

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    1. Awe, thank you so much my friend, you fill my heart with so much joy❤️
      Your feedback means more to me than you can imagine🦋
      I wish you a wonderful day.
      Hugs❤️

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